Your Break Between Classes

Who cares about Beyonce’s Baby?


If you hadn’t noticed, Beyoncé has been dominating the headlines of every gossip and entertainment publication since announcing her pregnancy on the 2011 MTV Video Music Awards. The blogesphere let out a collective gasp, before tripping over their Mac power cords to get their keyboards and post about baby names, the baby’s sex and lately the size of baby Jayonce’s nursery.  The rumors that Beyoncé is not really pregnant have also provided fodder for the media. So because we think so far outside of the always theoretical often abhorred box, we bring you reasons you should not care about the birth of the future little Knowles-Carter.

Beyoncé is increasing the unemployment rate:

The Bureau of Labor Statistics stated that for the past three months, the unemployment rate in the United States has been 9.1 percent. Beyoncé’s pregnancy is actually worsening the unemployment rate. She will be unable to go on tour while she is pregnant and for many months after her pregnancy. Beyoncé is therefore, putting all of her instrumentalists, lighting and sound technicians, and all the staff at every venue she would have rented out of work. Just think of how her and Jay-Z are selfishly ruining our economy.

Sally Sue has a baby too:

No one cared when Sally Sue in Ass-crack, Wyoming gave birth to a perfectly healthy 8 lbs. baby girl. No one even cared when Beyoncé’s sister, Solange, had a baby. The paparazzi was not following her around, and you definitely did not subscribe to the RSS feed letting you know all the latest news about her baby’s birth. Why should you care about one celebrity’s pregnancy more than anothers? No one is fighting to see Hillary Duff’s baby bump- yep I bet you didn’t even know she was pregnant. Unless you are personally pushing the baby out of your vagina or in the room while it happens, you have no reason to care. This pregnancy is just as irrelevant to you as Sally Sue’s baby was, so get a life.

You are not Beyoncé’s baby:

I know that media tries to show you every step of Beyoncé’s life and career. Now you feel like you are apart of the family and have the right to be involved in the process. You want to see all the updated pictures and are tracking Beyoncé’s belly growth. Reality check! You are not a part of Beyoncé’s family and this birth will have absolutely no effect on your life whatsoever.

You have bigger fish to fry:

If you had not noticed, the election year is fast approaching. There are serious political issues at hand, and our nation is going through a difficult change. No matter what your political affiliation is, your main focus should be on the issues that will affect you. Petitioning your local congressman to advocate for you is a start. According to College Board, over the past decade college tuition has increased approximately 17 percent. You should care about the increased struggle that parents and students are going through. Start caring about the fact that if our country does not stop spending money that it does not have, you will not have Social Security or Medicare.

These are all issues that trump Beyoncé’s baby or any other celebrities’ business, I mean don’t you have homework or something. We all should stop caring so much, and focus more on the issues that truly matter and will have a serious effect on our lives and the future of our country . . . on second thought, go watch a movie.


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