Love, Actually: Being Single on In College

A red rose tied with baker’s twine to a kraft paper gift box. (Photo: Becca Taper )

Romance on a college campus can feel inescapable. Couples share desserts in the dining halls, hold hands between classes, and fill Instagram feeds with flowers and date nights.

For some students, it’s just another part of campus life. For others, it feels a little louder than that. Even if you’re usually okay being single, there are moments when you pause and wonder if you’re missing something: if love is happening everywhere but near you.

That feeling doesn’t mean you’re behind. It means that you’re human. 

There’s a quiet idea that being single in college is something to get through, like a phase you’re supposed to grow out of. Being single isn’t a gap in your life, it isn’t a filler, it isn’t the “before” story.

College is already a season of becoming.

You’re figuring out what you believe, what you’re passionate about, what kind of friendships feel safe, and what red flags you’ll never ignore again.

That process takes emotional energy, clarity, and space. Sometimes, being single gives you exactly that.

Growth doesn’t only show up in couple photos or anniversary captions. It can look like turning down something that doesn’t feel right. It can look like spending a quiet night with friends who feel like home. 

It can look like choosing yourself without apology. 

“I’m prioritizing my friends, my peace, and the lifelong commitment I have to myself. Romance is cute, but I’ll choose to love myself more every time,” said Isioma Nwansoh, a senior at Howard University.

Her perspective isn’t about rejecting love: it’s about being intentional with where you place it. 

It acknowledges that the relationship you build with yourself shapes every other connection you’ll have. The way you speak to yourself, the standards you set, the boundaries you hold: those matter long before someone brings you flowers.

While not being in a romantic relationship can make loneliness feel louder, being in one doesn’t automatically quiet it. What creates stability is knowing who you are and what you value. 

If being single sometimes feels heavy, let it be a signal and not judgment. 

It may simply be revealing a desire for a deeper connection, romantic or platonic. Maybe it’s reminding you to nurture the friendships that consistently show up. 

Maybe it’s an invitation to spend the evening doing something that genuinely restores you.

You’re not late. You’re not lacking. You’re living in a chapter that’s shaping you in ways you’ll appreciate later.

That chapter deserves just as much celebration as any love story.